Happy Friday, Sis!
Let me start by saying this: if you’re a single mom navigating this beautiful, chaotic journey called motherhood, you are doing an amazing job.
I know the world has its opinions about us, but let me be clear—we’re not “lacking” or “less than.” We are exactly who God called us to be, raising these little humans with all the love, strength, and resilience we can muster.
Now, let me tell you a little about my life as a mom to my 7-year-old. (Yes, I said 7—prime age for asking a million questions, eating all the snacks, and testing every ounce of your patience.) Being single- by- choice has been an empowering experience, but it’s not without its challenges. Between the carline, playdates, and bedtime routines, it’s easy to put ourselves on the back burner.
But here’s the thing, Sis: self-care is not selfish—it’s survival.
It’s how we stay grounded, how we pour into ourselves so we can pour into our babies. Today, I want to share a little about how I’ve embraced motherhood and self-care as a single mom-by-choice.
Motherhood as a Single-by-Choice Mama
Choosing to be a single mom wasn’t a decision I took lightly, but it was one I made with intention and prayer. And let me tell you, my little one is a blessing I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Sure, there are days when I wonder if I’m doing enough. Did I play with my her enough? Was dinner healthy enough? Did I yell too much after I stepped on the Legos, she spilled on the floor? But then there are moments—those quiet, beautiful moments—when my child looks at me and says, “I love you, Mommy.” And just like that, everything feels worth it.
Bible Verse: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” —Proverbs 31:28-29 (NIV).
Even without a husband in the picture, this verse reminds me that the work we do as mothers is worthy of praise. Our children see us. They see our sacrifices, our love, and our efforts—and in their own way, they honor us for it.
Self-Care Isn’t Optional
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t be the best mom if you’re running on empty. Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, but it does have to be intentional.
Here are a few self-care rituals that keep me grounded:
- Morning Coffee and Quiet Time: Before the chaos of the day begins, I carve out 10-15 minutes to sip my coffee, read a devotional, and set my intentions for the day. It’s a small moment of peace that makes a big difference.
- Involving My Child in Self-Care: Sometimes self-care looks like doing a face mask while my 7-year-old plays beside me. It’s not about perfection; it’s about presence.
- Setting Boundaries: No, you can’t do everything. And guess what? That’s okay. Sometimes self-care is saying “NO” to an extra obligation so you can say “YES” to rest.
How to Make Space for You
I know it’s hard to put yourself first. But Sis, hear me when I say this: YOU deserve the same love and care you give to everyone else. Here are three simple steps to get started:
- Schedule It: Put self-care on your calendar, just like you do work shifts, school meetings, or doctor’s appointments.
- Keep It Simple: Self-care doesn’t have to be a spa day (though I’d never turn one down!). It can be as simple as a bubble bath, a walk around the block, or reading a book after your child goes to bed.
- Ask for Help: Yes, even superheroes need sidekicks. Whether it’s asking a family member to babysit or trading favors with another mom friend, don’t be afraid to lean on your village.
A Final Word of Encouragement
Being a single mom- by- choice is a unique and beautiful journey. It’s full of challenges, sure, but it’s also full of love, growth, and moments that take your breath away. God didn’t call us to do this alone—God walks with us every step of the way, strengthening us and reminding us that we are more than enough.
As we raise these little world-changers, let’s also remember to care for ourselves. We can’t give our children the best version of us if we don’t first pour into our own cups.
So, what does self-care look like for you this week?
Tell me in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re making time for YOU. And don’t forget to grab my Self-Care Love Note Template below—it’s a little gift from me to you to remind yourself just how incredible you are.