Hey Sis!
Before we dive into today’s post, let me start with a gentle heads-up. This might bring up some heavy emotions. If you’re not ready to read further, that’s okay. This is a healing space where you are deeply loved and respected. Take what you need, leave what you don’t, and know there’s no judgment here. I love you, truly.
Now, let’s talk about something that’s been on my heart.
Single but Not Standing Like a Duck 🦆
For those who don’t know, I’m single. And instead of standing like a duck in the rain, waiting for my husband to magically show up (because, let’s be real, we’re not in a rom-com), I’ve decided to use this season as a gift—a time of self-discovery.
Let me tell you something wild: I became a mom when I was really young, and before that, I was in the trenches of nursing school. So, honestly? I know my child better than I know myself. #Crazy, right?!
But here’s the thing: I thank God for this season. For the patience, the grace, and the opportunity to rediscover me.
The Book That Changed Everything
This week, I read a game-changing book: “How to Be the Love You Seek” by Dr. Nicole LePera. Sis, if you haven’t picked this one up yet, I highly recommend it.
The biggest takeaway? How we view relationships is often shaped by our relationships with our parents. Whew, let that sink in.
For me, it meant facing some hard truths. My mom did the best she could with what she had, but there were things—traumas—that shaped me in ways I didn’t even realize. It’s taken me time, but I’ve reached a place where I can say I forgive her. Not for her, but for me. Because staying in a place of resentment only kept me stuck.
The Inner Work Is the Real Work
Here’s the truth, sis: the kind of love we want starts with how we love ourselves. And that means doing the hard, deep, sometimes messy inner work.
So this week, I’ve got an activity for you:
- Order a Copy of the Book. Check your library, buy it from a bookstore, or borrow it from a friend—whatever works for you. This one’s worth the read.
- Pinpoint a Childhood Memory. Think of an age when something significant happened—whether it was deeply traumatic or beautifully joyful.
- Reflect on Your Relationship with Your Parent(s) at That Time. What did it look like? How did it shape you?
- Write a Love Note to Your Inner Child. Speak to that version of yourself with the kindness and love you needed in that moment.
This isn’t easy work. Healing takes time—Rooted & Resilient time. But the freedom and love that come with it? Totally worth it.
A Word for the Journey
As you navigate this work, remember this promise from Psalm 147:3 (NIV):
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
God doesn’t just heal halfway—God does a complete work. So trust that every tear, every reflection, and every step forward is part of God’s beautiful process.
Your Journey Starts Now
Sis, I know this isn’t light reading for a Wednesday, but this is the type of work we need to do to grow into the women we’re called to be. Don’t rush it. Take your time. Love on yourself as much as you pour out love to everyone else.
I love you, and I’m cheering for you every step of the way. Drop a comment and let me know how this journey feels for you—or just say hi. You’re never alone in this.
With love and resilience,
Sanjé 🖤
